Time can heal everything.

2007-09-04T02:20:00.000+08:00

Im now going through intesnse feelings and emotions.

Its like nobody cares, on the other hand, why should they?
Everything's going down and I feel shittier day by day.

Its like going back to those depressed sec 2 days.
Where I used to get tormented everyday.
Where's everyone. and everything.

2007-07-22T02:09:00.001+08:00

What am I to you, nothing?

You can't deny im nice, and i've done everything.

You don't appreciate.

I hate you you bloody mother fucker.

2007-06-18T16:44:00.000+08:00

MOVING HOUSE IS SURELY A BONE BREAKING JOB. AND IM DYING. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

2007-06-05T16:40:00.000+08:00

I feel so alone.

Who can blame me for being emotional.
Im alone in school, at home, at work, around everyone else, and within myself.

The one I love doesn't love me.
This is my last shot.
If I don't succeed, Im just gonna give up forever.

You say I pressurize you, but what are you actually doing to make us go forward.
Im always doing the pushing.
You don't really care about me don't you?

I cry all the time you know.
This really makes me sad.
I really wanna give up, but I don't want to lose you.
I don't wanna lose all that I've sacrificed.

I've changed so much, I wanna be attractive.
To make people like you love me.
But I guess its not that easy.

Do you even like me?
Don't play with me.
Im fragile.
I'll hurt easily.

2007-06-03T00:54:00.000+08:00

Its been a few weeks. The annual staff party's coming up. And Im performing! Wish me luck.
I wanna get wasted on that day. And I need to think about what to wear. RETRO THEME LEH. I have NO idea what to wear. :(

Pics with Mr Shrek.

All hail Princess Fiona!!! I think its cute ok. Don't laugh.
Brian has one too! =)

Honestly, if you want the honest truth, I really don't understand you. I tried, but I can't. And I feel super duper depressed when you not talk to me. It seems like you have no interest. Bah. I guess thats the way my life is, its self-centred, childish, annoying and un-understanding.

Negative things - Selwyn.

2007-05-18T00:21:00.000+08:00

Hi guys,

I haven't been blogging in awhile. Been real busy with school and work and everything.

There's been alot of politics lately, in school, work and outside.

Geez. I think I just need a bf. He'll be my sole number one.

Gawd help me.

<3 fiona.

2007-04-26T08:42:00.000+08:00

Saiful and I sillying in class. =)

Hadi and his pink shirt and flowery hawaiian shorts.

BenBen and I. So couple-like can.
Douglas and Me. EEEKS. bra strap alert. Vain pork, egoisical, nacisstic miss proud.
I love sleeping with my darlings in cine.
Benji too! =)We are kinda like a mad bunch.
Kissy Kelly!

2007-04-26T00:17:00.000+08:00

Went to school today, saw the DRAMATIC side of W46F. Then to town, went to watch 200 pound beauty with Jake, wooots. My first movie date in MONTHS. Then went to meet up with the sexy ladies. Chatted, and tried helplessly to get a cab for Queen Benji. Then, I went home.

200 Pound Beauty movie review (rating 4.5/5)
Cute Korean show, funny, romantic as well as a little action. It made me motivated. NOT to lose weight, but to get plastic surgery. Touching ending. It made Jake and I cry. Waaaahs. But the girl's really cute and pretty. Haha. Korean guys suck tho. Oh, and the song are nice too. =)

2007-04-22T00:01:00.000+08:00

Haven't been blogging for sometime. Been real busy with school and work. Sighs. I WORK AT AMK HUB'S FISH AND CO. People who are damn free and have nothing to do. Please drop by. =D Nothing much to update tho. Since my life is monotonous and boring now. BLEH. Please gimme something to talk about. TAG ME OR SOMETHING. ANYONE. PLEASE.

2007-04-17T08:16:00.000+08:00

Its ok Jiejies, I realised I was stupid. Im never gonna fall in love with AJs. Because it is not worth it. Hmm. Even when they claim they are bisexual. Its rubbish. Its like how a butch can never be straight. I should just look for a non-homophobic straight guy. =/ I hope I can find him soon. heh. Jiejies, I love you too. How could I ever doubt you last time. >.< Meimei stupid hor. Please slap my face if Im like that again. >.< not too hard hor!

2007-04-15T18:42:00.000+08:00

I feel that my brain's getting more and more mashed up. I've got so many things on my mind. That triangle thing, school, family (sucks) and the most important of all, Monies, which I am desperately short of.

Dad's back. And he's being bitchy. All because I didn't call my half-sister's tuition teacher, he wanted to throw my NEW laptop out of the window. I stay on the 18th floor btw. AND. He didn't want to furnish my new room in my new house and told me to sleep on the floor when we moved. Bloody hell. What kind of father is this. Even the strictest fathers I know aren't like that. Lemme go through some UNREASONABLE rules.

1) No going out after 6:30pm.
2) If you do go out. And you come back late. Please call the maid or dad to fetch you from the bus stop.
3) No sleeping after 10pm on school days.
4) No knowing guys till you're after 21. (which Im totally guilty of.)
5) Inform him of your every move when he's in Singapore.

Thank god he works in Thailand, I would just die if he's here 24/7.

darlin. I tried to avoid you, I try not to love you. But you're just too sweet to resist. >.<

2007-04-14T07:50:00.000+08:00

Benji says that I cannot fight this. Its too hard for me. I now totally wish I was gay. As in guy gay, but too bad. I have a woman's body. Unfortunately, this gay is in a woman. God has given me a wrong body, and I wish, I could be put into a more masculine one instead.

I feel so ugly as a girl, there's menses, the lack of freedom, oogles from old men and skirts to tolerate. It can't be helped if I have a large cleavage right. Can't be helped that I've female hormones right. Sadly, it can't be helped that I've fallen for an AJ. I thought he wasn't so extreme. But still, gayboys are gayboys. =)

If I was lesbian, at least I wouldn't fall for AJs.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT? TOO BAD IM BISEXUAL.
and more to the straight side too.

I HATE BEING A GIRL. hate hate hate hate.
I wanna tear off my boobs and roll them all up and attach it down there.
Cut my hair short. And work out.
I don't wanna be feminine anymore.
Don't wanna put on make up, wear heels and skirts.
Its all so very hard for me.
Was a tomboy. Does that count? NO.
I still have fucking boobs.

WHAT TO DO NOW.

Benji: How liddat, tell me how liddat!?

2007-04-11T03:30:00.000+08:00

Aquarius - Your Love Profile

Your positive traits:

You've got a ton of friends, so you have no problem meeting new people.
You're great at thinking up new things and activities to do with your sweetie.
You tend to let the little things slide in relationships... and focus on the bigger picture.

Your negative traits:

In relationships, it tends to be your way or the highway.
You can never open up completely to someone - you have to keep parts of yourself secret.
You're cold and reserved, which leaves your partner feeling unloved.

Your ideal partner:

Flexible, because you're not going to be the one to compromise!
Is smart and quirky with lots of weird interests... including you.
A true individualist who doesn't care what anyone thinks

Your dating style:

Stimulating. You prefer dates that explore a shared interest - like a lecture, muesum tour, or concert.

Your seduction style:

Wacky. Your wild ideas have your lover wondering what's next.
Insatiable - it takes a lot to satisfy your desires.
Varied. You're eager to try things as soon as you learn about them.

Tips for the future:

Bring a little responsibility to your relationship - like showing up for dates!
Compromise a little. It would kill you to do things your lover's way for once.
Be aware of your partner's jealousy. Even though you aren't jealous, realize your partner is sometimes.

Best color to attract mate: Sky blue

Best day for a date: Wednesday

What's Your Love Profile?

Im still sad over what's happened. I wonder if anyone else knew. I think you're ignoring me. Do you hate me?

2007-04-10T03:42:00.000+08:00

Hey look, if you're not happy with something. Tell me. Don't fucking ignore me or avoid it alright. Look at how you've been treating me. Sorry hor, best friends don't notice each other after 3 hours alright. You can go and fuck around with your friends. I don't care. I tried to protect you, you said give you your freedom. Ok, fine, unlimited freedom is yours.

Its not me thats changed. Im still the same ol' Fiona. Look at yourself. You hardly go out with me, call me, or even speak to me. All because "there's no reason to". Like I said, everyone else is more important. You said I don't remember the good things you've done for me? I still do alright. Look who's talking. I don't put you in a bad light. I told you Im jealous, and you still do it. Fine. go ahead. I'll have my own group of friends. I don't need you.

I don't treat all my friends the same, especially you. You're my special one. The one above everything. You ask me to come down to your place when you had problems, and I did. We accompanied each other throughout the night at the playground, smoking and chatting our lives away. Guess that wouldn't happen anymore. Since I mean nothing to you right now.

Being the perfect friend? Thats hard, like i said to Kenneth, don't play politics. No one will like you in the end. Look at whats happened now. But I don't really give a fuck. Since Im not supposed to. =)

Gosh, Im still sick. Head pain! Nose running like a tap! Coughing till my head hurts!
May that special Someone please save me from my misery.

I love you, I really do. For your side. I wouldn't know. Never did it cross my mind that you'll reciprocate my love. Hopefully you do. =X

2007-04-07T15:14:00.000+08:00

oh my god. I feel so sick. Imagine getting a flu, with a runny nose plus a sore throat. I WANNA DIE ALREADY LA. And its raining outside. And its sooo cold. Im freezing. I wish i had a special someone's warmth.

But that won't stop me from clubbing tonight. =D

2007-04-05T14:46:00.000+08:00

OMG. Its official. I like someone. =)
My lips are sealed.

But I still think Im stupid, dumb, moronic, idiotic and silly to like him. :(

2007-04-04T07:36:00.000+08:00

Im very tired now, so Im just summarising yesterday's events while my phone is charging. =)

Yesterday, EVERYONE was supposed to go to Kenneth's place for mahjong. BUDDEN. His dad was at home, so it wasn't very nice to go there. So, we changed plans to come over to my place instead. We were SUPPOSEDLY meeting at 12 at my place. In the end, everyone came at 3pm. I think either they have no brains to tell the time, or my biological clock is too hasty. Sexy Bf, Bryan, Kenneth, Michelle and Lionel was there. The others probably got lost in the abyss. Bf and I won 25 lollers from Bryan (which I am still feeling very bad about). And Kenneth and Michelle won 5 lollers.

Halfway through the SI feng, Bryan was bankrupt, so we didn't continue. Bryan, Kenneth, Michelle and Lionel SUPPOSEDLY went to Jojo's to mahjong again, but they stayed in AMK until the eleventh hour, then they went to Serangon central to meet Tino, Shuhui and Ben. While Lionel came to town afterwards.

Bf and I prepared in my room to go out. Make up and stuff like that. He was commenting on the Before and After look I have when I make up. LOL. Sorry loh, some people just look good. =X

So, we went to AMK Mrt to meet Ryan, then we set off to town. Plsyed arcade and window shopped. Saw Yijian knocking off from Subway, then we went outside and saw Benji, Andy and Ming Yang. Chatted awhile, then we went off to Bugis. On the way to the bus stop, we saw Yijian's friends, Vivian, Carrin and Douglas. Douglas joined us on our journey to Bugis.

In the bus on the way to Bugis, Ryan was being a bitch and stealing my Bf. =X Never mind, I had boy boy Douglas accompanying me. =) When we got to Bugis street, we were walking around in circles finding for the shades and bag shop. I had that gut feeling that I would buy my bag today. And finally, I DID. =D We walked more circles around bugis street 2nd floor. But still couldn't find that perfect pair of shades for Bf. I think he still looks best in my pair of shades. He should just have it. DUN GIMME BACK AR.

Afterwards, the boys were superglued to the arcade. I was getting tired and hungry and cold and bored and deaf already. And they were still playing their silly fighting games. grr. BOYS WILL BE BOYS. Especially that Bf, used one credit of Soul Caliber to defeat this guy who used 10 over credits. CRAZY BOY. When we left the arcade, suddenly Bf and Yijian wanted to go home. I was like, "WAH LAO. DAMN SIAN LOH. IM HUNGRY!!!!" So, Ryan and I took the last train to the north. He went home and I went to meet Ben, Kenneth, Bryan and Tino at Serangoon Central.

I had a fucking big shock when I got there. Tino was bleeding and everyone was bruised. Apparently some FUCKED UP gangster kids beat the poor boys up, cause of some silly staring incident. I dun really wanna talk about the stupid matter, what matters is that they're all right. I fucking swear, that if I know who these brainless Mother Fucks these people are, they'll Fucking die. I hate people who beat up or bully my friends, furthermore, this wasn't a good enough reason. ITS FUCKING BULLSHIT. Anyways, we made a police report already. Hopefully those idiot young punks will get caught and sentanced to life imprisonment in a boy's/girl's home. You guys better not let me find out who the FUCK you are. I dun care if you're the president's son or a hooker's pussy, I swear, I'll assasinate your bloody fuck asses. Its already cowardly enough that you CHEE BYES gave back blows to my friends, you better run shitheads. I'll get frenzied if I see you. Don't EVER, make me mad. You'll just succumb to the underworld. =)

Take care dear friends. Especially of those wounds, I hope you guys feel better now. You don't need to get trumatised by brats. Stay strong ya? =)

Following that, we walked and ate and walked and ate and sat down and rotted and went home.

So tired now, I wanna retire to bed. Nighty Nights. =)

Boy my biological clock is screwed.

Sup, good lookin?

2007-04-03T09:15:00.000+08:00

Ok. Since beloved bf wanted me to blog about yesterdays happenings, I will. DeSpItE De FaCt TaT I TyPeE iN PrOpeR EnGlIsh aNd StuFf, WhiCh iSh ReAlLY ToUgH oN MiIE.

Ok. Brief events that occured yesterday, Went to cine, met up with the hunky Bf, sexy Weijie, hot Kelvin, knockout Victor, handsome Ming Yang, suave Tommy and cute Ryan. Sexy Weijie was watching the sexy dragon boys on television, every sunday, 7-9pm on some chinese channel, while touching up my makeup for me. Handsome Ming Yang then went for a obsessive movie, 23, with his date. The rest of us went outside to smoke, met adorable Yijian and gorgeous Jake, and then heeren to shop for my bag. Sadly, the bags at NUM was like all 100 plus. Can some hot guy please buy the 149 black bag for me? I really really like it alot. >.< Hunky bf then wanted to go to the john's, it was soooo bad that he was sweating. Tsk tsk. But he REFUSED to poop in public. And I said, STOMACHACHE MA. BOBIAN.

We went up to e2max at cine's 9th floor. Where we rented our own private tv/dvd/xbox and 5 PCs. While we were making the damn damn damn expensive payment. WHICH I PAID FOR CUTE RYAN, it was totally not cheap loh. FCUKER. Someone went to shit. So we went into the room and scrambled for computers. Some played maple, some played DOTA, some watched HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL. Hot Kelvin is such a backstabber. THATS WHY I GOT THRASHED LOH. meanie. Dun wanna play DOTA with you again. cheaterbug! I absolutely adore High School Musical. The story totally rocks. =) Knockout victor, cute Ryan and suave Tommy had to go after that.

We went to the Youth Park's Kopi DIAM. Ate and bitched again. Then handsome Ming Yang came back. After the supper, we were thinking where to go next, some had work tomorrow. But they still wanted to come along with us to Tantric. Handsome Ming Yang was like, THOSE WHO WANNA GO TO TANTRIC, FOLLOW ME. THE REST, FUCK OFF. See this small boy. No manners. Haiyo. So gorgeous Jake fucked off. While the rest followed. One after another. Lol. It was really damn cute la. We actually walked ALLLLLL the way from cine to tantric. Like its blooody friggin far dude. And Mr Hunky Bf had to pee again. He and his awfully unpredictable bladder. We went to some ulu building near havelock road to let him pee. After the OLD straight guys went out, I snuck into the boys's loo again. I was always fascinated by urinals, I wonder why, probably because they have the most exposure of dicks. Cy had to go home soon. BUT GOT NO MORE NIGHT RIDER. Thank god, then he can accompany me mah. =X So we sang and danced our way to Tantric.

We had this drink MIDORI SPICE. Yes dear, I just had to remind you wat a fabulous drink MIDORI is. And I poppin cherries all over the block yo'. We requested Spanish Guitar, but it never came. T.T After everyone got high and pinching sexy Weijie's nipples, they started attacking the lower parts. Scary people they are. So at 3, we went off to maxwell while adorable Yijian and hot Kelvin had to go home. We saw pretty Wellness at maxwell, alluring Imran joined us later, and this stunning funny, bamboo, pinching Sexy Weijie's nipples guy was there too. We were checking out this hot guy when alluring Imran decided to record his firm ass. We checked out the video when alluring Imran told us that he forgot to press the record button. -.- I know how to do O's with smoke already. =D Much later, alluring Imran sent hunky Bf and I home. Thanks babe.

So much for last night's happenings. Im still bushed, and Im going out soon. ERGH. TIRED. But I had loads of fun. =D

**Bf. You better stop shooting your loads on everyone's tagboard, you're like M1, you're everywhere. Naughty Naughty.

Glamorous, Most Beautiful, Queen of the world Fiona.

2007-04-02T19:55:00.000+08:00

Wanted to blog about the day's happenings. But I accidentally deleted all of em. ONE WHOLE ESSAY. sua. Don't wanna blog already. I had fun today. HOR HALF-DEAD BF? ^^ HAPPY DAYS ARE HERE. woooots

2007-03-31T01:42:00.000+08:00

No news from any of them at all today. Im so sad. Now Im feeling even more left out. Sighs, Maybe Im like another gigantic, fat, barbie doll. Im sinking really deep. And no one really cares. If I don't talk to them, they will never talk to me. But still, I try to be nice, even to those guys who make fun of me. I've become a more, solemn person. A loner with no company. I hope you still love me. Despite the fact that everything you do is hurting me really bad. Piece me back together. I wished it was like those days where we used to laugh and smile at anything silly, rather than you keeping quiet in front of me now. Im just nothing to you now right? Just a body of used tissues now thrown away. People say you'll eventually come back, I hope you do. Its far from my grasp, my control, all I can do now is hope.

What is this world coming to? Its coming to my end.
You mean I've never done those things she did? I think I did better. You just think Im ugly. And I too know you're superficial. You treat everyone based on looks. Its so obvious that Im the bad person now.

YAY!

2007-03-29T21:48:00.000+08:00

Daddy's coming home. So guys, thats my reason for disappearing for a few days. Im gonna get my lappie soon. YAY!

Today, I went to get the enrolment shit done, FINALLY. Something off my load. YAY!

Went to town today, to catch up with the guys, pooled many shitty fouls. SAD. But still. I had fun. =) YAY!

Went to eat dinner at kobayashi AGAIN. Where they had the yummiest omelette noodles thingy. Smothered in fatty mayo and sweet something sauce. Love it. Now I wanna eat it again. Hungry. >.<

People say that I tend to think too much. Honestly, I am really sensitive about things that people do. Little things annoy me, make me sad, excited, and can even make me fall in love. Its stupid, but I can't help to think the way I do. Perhaps Im just paranoid, or immature. Whatever it is, I hope it'll soon be over. I need some love people. Shower me with hearts and attention. Cause loneliness makes me think a lot. And I hate it. It makes me sad, makes me do stupid things, and worse, makes me crave for the wrong company.

I guess the whole thing between ex and me took a big toll on my happiness. I never ever got two timed before. Am I that bad a girlfriend? I was determined to make the relationship last. And what happened in the end? Its not my fault. Why am I so affected? And when he's at a loss, why am I hurt? Fuck that. Don't think too much Fiona.

And again.

2007-03-28T21:56:00.000+08:00

Again I have made a new blog. Hopefully I'll stay faithful. Many things that I've thought about, and are a little inconvenient to voice out. So, Im gonna thrash it all out here. This is the bitching area.

Im still thinking of him, he's MIA now. Why did you even hurt me. Why did we even get together. It fucking bullshit. Whatever, hope he dies. ~~fucking ex bf.~~

Jealousy is getting more of me. I guess people just don't understand. You know I hate being alone. No one talks to me anymore. Im just another wooden pole with boobs. I try not to control you. But I just feel so sick of all these. I mean, you're not who I think you are anymore. Ok. Like you said, maybe I think too much. I just feel so left out. Sighs. I guess I don't mean anything anymore.

Within the past month, I've been hanging out with HOT AJs, I totally love the whole bunch of them, you're sooooooooo cuttttteee. You guys really opened my eyes to a new world. Thanks ya. =D

Oh. And people, please gimme links. I wanna make my linky area longer. =D